A Mother's Experience
When Ashly approached me to write about my experiences alongside her, I was thrown back into memories and emotions that I had left behind. It took me days to pick up the pen and paper. I became overwhelmed by my own feelings, the same feelings that I felt back then. Helpless, lost, scared and weak.
I remember the first time she was in pain, and I thought gymnastics was the cause because not soon after she quit, she began complaining about her lower back. I turned to my former massage instructor for advice, and she showed me different methods of stretching and massages that could possibly stop her discomfort. I was certain that it worked. However, Ashly's pain reappeared every time I performed those methods on her.
The day I found her laying on the floor, immobile, brought me to pieces. The feeble look in her eyes I can never forget. My heart was broken because I wished a single kiss, or a song could relieve her from how she felt. I was impotent. Everything in me wanted to heal her, to take her pain and make it mine, but I couldn't.
The journey was long, but I never left her side through all the hours of waiting when she went in for tests, and wondering her results. Although we spent most of our time in hospitals, I spent a lot of time doing my own research of the illness. I had my own thoughts and solutions which doctors pushed aside, but I knew they listened and pondered on my inputs.
Up to this day, I am not giving up or giving in because as long as she's alive she still has a chance. We are six years in dealing with this rare and complicated illness, but to see the love of my life smile again with such grace and gratitude is all I can ask for. After one journey comes another, but I am Ready!