Why do we keep dating the same wrong person?

Why do we keep dating the same wrong person? A topic I cogitated about for a while. It seems to be a common issue for many who are struggling with relationships and blind-sided by their own patterns. It all narrows down to these three attributes: habit, low self-esteem and fear.

1. Habit

The most common statement I've heard is," I don't know why these guys/girls are attracted to me..." That may be a considerable question to ask oneself when dealing with our appeal, but why do we backslide and give chances knowing that they are no different from the ones from our previous relationships?

It is a habit...similar to a diet. One week you decide you're determine to quit junk food for the month, and before you know it, you're watching Vampire Diaries on Netflix, eating from a pint of Sea Salt Caramel Talenti. Sounds familiar right?

Not to mention, every time we come out of a relationship, we often say the new one is going to be different. However, we must first acknowledge our relationship pattern and break the loop, so we won't be stuck in the habit of dating people of the same"wrong" type.

2. Low self-esteem

This goes for people who doubt whether they are good enough for someone of a different standard. If you continue to doubt your worth, you will always allow the same type of people to come into your life because you don't respect yourself, or love yourself enough to avoid what is obviously bad for you.

In fact, having self-worth is very important when it comes to attraction because it result in the type of people you lure in. Like when we dress a certain way, you attract certain people. The same goes for guys/gals with low self-esteem. Attracting the same type of people would be inevitable.

For that reason, some people seek others with low self-esteem because they premeditated on ways to manipulate you in the relationship. This is why confidence is everything. When you have confidence in yourself, automatically you see that you deserve much more than what you allowed from others.

3. Fear

Don't be afraid to move forward. If you wish to improve on your dating patterns, be open to other decent types of people. However, moving forward means wanting it. It's easy to talk the talk, but if we know in our hearts we don't want it then it won't happen.

Also, don't be afraid to be alone. Don't get too comfortable with the idea of always being in a relationship because you will welcome anyone that gives you the time of day. Embrace the single life and work on your mentality.

Lastly, don't be afraid when something new comes along. This is how life works. There are always something better, it will just take time to adapt. Even though you already know you're uninterested, keep the conversation going, something might surprise you.

"We don't always get what we want, but we can get what we need."